steering clear of the mainstream
since 2001

june 2010

review
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info opinion


Revelation Theory

Self-titled CDR EP

Idol Roc Entertainment

Genres: alt rock

Idol Roc Entertainment
230 Hilton Ave. Ste. 208
Hempstead, NY 11550

Sep 6 - 12 2004

I stuck Revelation Theory's EP into my CD player with a decidedly non-open mind. I'm one of those types who judges books by covers and all that other sacrilege; and likewise, after absorbing the general presentation of Revelation Theory as a whole I gave the disc a listen and congratulated myself on having mystical prophetic skills.

So now that I know that I'm going to be ripping them apart for pretty much the whole of this review, the question is where to start. And like any good citizen I'll do what needs to be done and start at the foundation. Yes, the rhythm section. Because the frank lack of creativity in the rhythm section is what sends this whole hopeful project with big dreams into yet another gabbing, quivering mess - no, scratch that. Revelation Theory is not a mess. They are far from a mess. They harmonize well and produce nice, clean music. But (and yes, here's the next punchline, get the drumroll going) this is one of the cases where you want the music to be shrouded in a giant musical wave of mutilation. When you strip all the excess noise away you get the true selves behind Revelation Theory. And they're boring.

Make no mistake, this is the attack of the clones. "Save Yourself" is rhythmically a carbon copy of the Deftones' radio hit "My Own Summer." Only a slight transposition and some different, less screamo lyrics make any differentiation between the two. Devoted Indieville readers may remember Jera and their noble attempt to voice their deepest emotions through the nabbed melodies and riffs of Nickelback. Now imagine taking a step down from that; yes, Revelation Theory does so with flying colors by using Nickelback and co's style to voice absolutely nothing. When you can find actual lyrics through the appropriately alt-rock vocal distortion, there is, surprisingly, the hint of something emotional. But it's only a hint. Listening to the Theory moan "I don't want to make the walls around them" and so on is quite different than seeing it in writing. In writing, at least, there's some potential in the lyrics, there's some shred of meaning inside. Through the alt-rock filter of Revelation Theory, however, they just come out as meaningless decoration for their extravaganza of stolen music. "Begun, the Clone Wars have," Yoda mumbles in the cinematic masterpiece Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. In the landscape of radio alt-rock, the Clone Wars are on in full force with Revelation Theory. And it doesn't take an Episode III to realize that the clones are the bad guys.

46%

Engelbert K. Mutton

[Vitals: 6 tracks, distributed by the band, released 2003]